Wednesday, July 28, 2010

BORING


Richard (of RBB) has a low threshold for boredom. This is very surprising from someone whose chosen musical instrument is the double bass. One would think that someone who is looking continually for excitement would have chosen a gazoo or at least a triangle - something that has the potential to wake the audience up. But we must remember that Richard (of RBB) is a bit of an unusual creature, one who is frightened of birds, cows, large women, fast cars, fast car-drivers, fish, fishermen, old women, lawyers, band leaders, guitar players, second-fiddle players, Malaysians, golf balls, men in greatcoats, salami, espresso coffee, cats, loud noises and children who wear hats.
If we were to choose a wine to suit Richard (of RBB) who 'doesn't like boring things'  we should avoid the usual suspects and present him with Chardonnay. Not just any Chardonnay but one with a bit of class. Richard (of RBB) to give him credit, is proficient in both Italian and German languages. He has learnt this via his arcane interest in the afore mentioned double bass. I have inside knowledge however that his knowledge of the French language is non-existant. At secondary school Richard was relegated to the lower classes where the classical languages were not offered (bookkeeping and finger painting were the alternatives) so Latin, Greek and French are not in his repertoire. This gap in his education of course provides a hunger so to 'jazz' up his liking of Chardonnay, even though it is a French grape, we will remind him of his previous fondness for Chardon. Not only does this wine-style allude to Chardonnay (even though a Chardonnay grape never came within a thousand kilometers of this 'wine'), it has a posh, french-style 'on' at the end. This should keep the old ponce happy for a while.

3 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

In Nuova Lazio I've heard that wine spoken of without the C.
I did French at school and currently play in a gypsy jazz band that plays French music - the other two members of the band speak fluent French, not like The Wine Guy's 'Le proffeseur est dans la salle de classe' bullshit. There used to be a greek guy who ran our local fish and chip shop in Nuova Lazio. He was a nice guy, but could speak English, so I never had a need for Greek.
Didn't Jesus preach that 'The Greeks will inherit the Earth (aka Jasper)'?

TwistedScottishBastard said...

Oh dear.
Every time Richard (of RBB) mentioned Chardon, I though he was just using an abbreviation of Chardonnay. The description of this Chardon on the web is not appealing, and I cannot believe that this is Richard(of RBB)'s favourite tipple.

At Nuova Lazio we have to be fluent in Nuova Lazian, English, Scottish, Samoan, Tongan, Fijian, Hindi, Mandarin, Cantonese, German, Finnish, Japanese, Welsh, Cornish, Cockney, Canadian, Australian and Kiwi.

I have heard Richard(of RBB) curse (well, mostly grumble/mumble)at/in each of these. AND R(o RBB) also speaks and is fluent in Music and DoubleBassish

THE CURMUDGEON said...

"AND R(o RBB) also speaks and is fluent in Music and DoubleBassish"

I think that he is effluent in bullshit.