A CAUTIONARY (T)ALE

A hard working commercial cleaner who we will call Eric to protect his privacy enjoyed D.I.Y. in many forms. Arriving home after a long day Robert..... dang! Sorry. Arriving home he would brew up his Coopers home brew in the discarded school toilet bowls he acquired from the rubbish skips at his work. Stout and dark ales seemed to work the best with the darker colours disguising most imperfections. Eric enjoyed his home brew and was proud of his handiwork. He usually couldn't wait for the brew to be complete before he indulged in a bottle or two. He was proud of the fact that the bottles could be recapped when half full as the still fermenting yeasts would keep the brew 'fresh'. He should have been more observant of the instructions.
Eric liked other forms of D.I.Y. - building sheds, fences, bathrooms, kayaks and blogs. After a couple of bevvies his workmanship tended to become a bit skewiff. Beams would sag, paint blotch and joins not match up as well as they should. This was true of all of his hobbies except for blogging. For some reason the alcohol improved his spelling, grammar, creativity and humour - for a while before he would fall asleep in mid-sentence.
The home brew that R...Eric made needs ten days for the secondary fermentation to complete before the ale is left to 'age'. Eric however liked the fizzy taste and yeastiness and would drink his before the fermentation cycle was complete. This meant that the process continued inside Eric after he had imbibed. Now this might not have been too bad a thing if Eric had limited himself to small amounts. Working yeast in fact can be beneficial to digestion and is a good scourer for the bowel. Eric though, being of the working classes, enjoyed his ales in quantity - indeed it was because a can of Coopers ready-mix could produce 30 litres of the stuff that attracted him in the first place. Volume and frequency caused an unnatural build-up of fermenting brew inside Eric and unfortunately one evening he simply exploded.