Friday, July 18, 2008

SHORT PANTS WINE


If wine was like clothes, what sort of clothes would match each wine type?
Gwann,gwann gwann - I bet you've been wondering.
Chardonnay would be a great late Summer/Autumn wardrobe, versatile depending on the days temperature from nice shorts and designer t-shirts to quality chino's, open neck shirts and casual jackets. (Note that we are talking men's clothes here).
Sauvignon Blanc would be a lot less formal and with less class - probably jandals and beach shorts for men and revealing bikinis for women (some with a bit of style and elegance, most blowsy showing a lot of bum-crack).
Gewurtztraminer would be elegant casual woolen trousers with rather stiff collared shirts and soft leather jackets.
Syrah would be corduroy trousers, designer work shirts and sleeveless jerkins.
Cabernet Sauvignon Nad Merlot would be tailored slacks through to elegant suits with good cotton shirts and silk ties.
Pinot Noir would run from designer jeans and shirts at one end to moleskin/chino's and widerness jackets at the other.
Pinot Gris (the modern day Muller Thurgau)would be ugly short pants (even liederhosen)worn stupidly short and maybe in leather. Probably of the type favoured by double bass players.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gwann!

A maltese wine?

Anonymous said...

Violinists may wear shorts in the summer but double bassists develop callouses and chaff skin from the varnish if they persist.

Anonymous said...

"Pinot Gris (the modern day Muller Thurgau)would be ugly short pants (even liederhosen)worn stupidly short and maybe in leather. Probably of the type favoured by double bass players. "
The obvious advantage of short pants actually has nothing to do with bass playing. Short pants pay dividends when it comes to pee time, as they offer a choice. Zip down or trouser leg up? It is true that 'trouser leg up' is more successful with the non-leather variety and one could even go as far as to recommend a kilt for 'those challenged by lack of length'. Short pants do carry a few stigmas: they are often associated with boyhood (as opposed to manhood) and they have been forever damaged by the past popularity of the 'walk short' in this country. At first glance, I took the mention of shorts to be a put down of Pinot Gris (and, to a lesser extent, bass players); then I realised that, if one is wearing only 'shorts' there is a chance that one's female companion is wearing less clothing too and that the Pinot Gris has done a superb job!
R (of RBB)
ps. why doesn't your post cover Chardon and Riccadonna? In Wainuiomata I've heard the first one referred to, reverently, without the 'C'! A mark of it's ability to 'do the job'?

THE WINE GUY said...

The kind of shorts that bass players wear are probably the leather sort with lots of strings and buttons so are impractical for quick peeing or for fast release in romantic encounters

Anonymous said...

You didn't answer my question about Chardon.
R (of RBB)

THE WINE GUY said...

Sugary sweet wines and chateau leg-openers could be a good topic for a future post.
I assume it is not the Wainuiomata men that drink these wines (not in public anyway)

Anonymous said...

Wow! Quick reply! Can't argue with that!
R (of RBB)

THE WINE GUY said...

Probably why Richard drinks Chardonnay is that he went into a nice bar and asked for "Chardon - eh!" which he was used to doing in Taumaranui and was too embarrassed to complain when he got the dry, non-sparkling wine that he stuck with it.

John Locke said...

How about Riesling and Rose? Would they be Farmers/Hallensteins synthetic pants or Rodd and Gunn over priced style?

THE WINE GUY said...

Riesling would be something classty like Working Style, yes Rodd And Gunn or RM Williams casusal.

Rose would be cheap and blowsy like mail order