BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS

Not that we were Greek of course although Tony had a Greek friend who had a moustache. She was his girlfriend. The 'Greeks' in question were Tony, Richard, Robert, Noel, Mike and I and the 'gifts' were crates of out of condition beer. At the wholesalers where Richard, Tony, Robert and I worked, there would be from time to time, old beer that had to be thrown away. Beer generally has a shelf life of 6 to 9 months depending on brewing methods, colour of the glass bottle, storage methods etc. In this case the beer was about two years old and had been stored in a warm part of the warehouse so was actually stuffed. It was quite cloudy and a glassful looked like one of those snowstorm globes when shaken. Management told us to tip the beer down the drain and recycle the bottles. We decided that there was a much better use for it. Parties. Or, more accurately, entry into parties. Arriving at the door of strangers didn't always guarantee ease of entry to the party. Arriving at the door of strangers with several dozen bottles of beer in your arms was like having a royal invitation.

The beer in question was Bass which was brewed in New Zealand under special licence by Waikato Breweries. It tasted pretty dreadful under normal conditions but in its cloudy state was liable to give the drinker the runs (and I'm not talking athletics here).

 The other beer was also made by Waikato Breweries and it was named Brew 22. I wasn't long on the market and probably led to the demise of many a drinker whether it was fresh or not.

Of the two we would have chosen Bass to drink if we had been silly enough to drink either.
The beer was a means of gaining entry to the parties. We would bring it in to shouts and cheers of approval and dump it in a corner of the kitchen or wash-house at the party venue (usually a student flat). We would then go about drinking any other beverages (wines, beers, spirits, liqueurs, Baby Cham) we weren't fussy until it was time to leave. Generally, after a couple of hours, it was impossible and inadvisable to use the toilet in the house as it was invariably being used and with a queue outside of diarrhetic party-goers. I guess they always blamed the party food and not the 'Typhoid Mary's' who had brought the refreshments.

Happy days!