Wednesday, May 21, 2008

DELIVERY BOY



Years ago, when I first joined the wine and spirit industry I went out on the delivery round with a chap named Liam. He was showing me where the regular customers lived and we would both carry in the booze (in those days there was a 9 litre minimum limit when purchasing any alcohol from a wholesaler (todays Liquorland-type retail)so the cheapest way for someone to buy a bottle of gin or scotch was to buy a dozen quart bottles of beer to go with it.
When we reached Mrs McGillacuddy's (name changed because I can't remember her real name), Liam said he would stay in the truck and check the dockets.
I didn't think anything unnusual about this as I was young and naive so went up to the door and knocked. An old woman, very skinny and heavily made-up answered the door wearing some kind of lacy dressing gown. I mumbled that I had her order here and told her the price. She asked me to bring the carton in and put it in the back room which I did. I then reminded her of the money and she said of course dearie and opened her dressing gown wide. She wore nothing underneath except a garter around the top of a skinny thigh and proceeded to pull money from it. I was desperately trying not to look but couldn't help seeing a flash of grey pubic hair. I fumbled with the change, giving her too much, and ran out of there.
Liam was sitting in the truck convulsed with laughter. Bastard.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of your very few sexual experiences before the age of forty.
richard (of RBB)

THE WINE GUY said...

Believe me Richard, the sight was enough to put you off untill you were 40.
Surely you must remember this old biddy?
It must have been your delivery round at one stage (somewhere around Daniell St in Newtown)

Anonymous said...

I never saw her, but still managed not to get sex until well after the age of forty. Picking up women was never a Prowse strong point.
R (of RBB)